The King is Dead

It saddens me to write this latest entry in my critically acclaimed blog. No, it sickens me. The last thing I want to do is upset my many readers. But, for the sake of responsible journalism, I feel bound to address the story of the latest fallen sports hero.

It took the country along time to get over the realization that O.J. is a murderer. And, just when we are starting to get a handle on the fact that Kobe and Tiger are adulterers, and Ben and L.T. may be rapists, another idol has sinned.

That's right, I'm talking about LeBron James. I can handle murder, cheating on your wife, rape and illegal drug use by athletes. It happens all the time. But, what LeBron did is unspeakable. He had a bad game.

I know, many of my readers who have been out of the country, or living under a rock (which I believe is the case with some of my readers) must be reeling to find out about LeBron. The rest of you, having to live with this reality for the past 48 hours have been, like me, for the most part, lying motionless, in the fetal position.

Fans like myself are suffering right now. But our pain must pale in comparison to that of the people of Cleveland. As if just living in Cleveland wasn't bad enough. The city that has the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and little else, faces the very real possibility of another early exit from the playoffs, by the Cavaliers.

Perhaps you think I'm being a bit melodramatic about all this. Well, I'm not. You just don't have a grasp on what is truly important in this world. If you don't believe me just turn on any sports, or news show. LeBron is being blamed for letting down an entire city, and a nation of fans.

Never mind that he is only 25 years old. Never mind that he carries a crappy team on his back almost every night. And, forget that he is only playing a game. All you have to do is listen to just about every sportscaster. A person with his God given skills cannot be mortal. It is unacceptable.

Oh, and I forgot to mention, not only did he play poorly, and his team lost, but, according to all accounts, he has not been apologetic, or contrite enough.

I believe, that if the Cavaliers do not go on to win the NBA Championship, Lebron should be executed. After all, he is The King. History tells us that other kings, having let down their subjects, have met with similar fates.